Talk to the absent parent. You should talk to an attorney. Many reasons that may include but may not be limited to the following: 1. It doesn't hurt to research good family lawyers even after your divorce is final. Go with the flow. Write a letter. For all this time, you have been trying to get him to respond to you. They usually then schedule a call with me in a panic because their ex had a negative response to them. If he does file and both of you claim the same dependents and he files first, you may be blocked from e-filing. If your child screams at you, don’t scream back. For whatever reasons, your ex husband has chosen not to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to you. Just go it along for awhile and give your ex what he thinks he wants. Today we are going to be talking about why your ex refuses to talk to you after a breakup. She just left for an (approved) weekend off and the CEO just sent her a text thanking her for putting in her two weeks. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. So instead, I suggest the following: 1. He has access to the children via a court order but refuses to pay maintenance, even though the CSA have taken him to court once already. In a previous blog post, we explored the meaning of joint custody and reviewed some scenarios in which it would be the appropriate custodial situation for a child. How Your Narcissistic Ex Really Feels About Child Support. Do you know how long it has been? Keep track of all the missed visits and make notes with as much detail as possible. If it is a major issue that affects your child’s safety, you might say, “Let me talk to dad about how you still need to wear a helmet when you're on your skateboard.” 6. He is obstanate and refuses to talk to me face to face, everything has to be done via email or text. “My ex-husband doesn’t see his child” The woman's 11-year-old daughter's father would go months without seeing the girl, and instead spent all his time with his new girlfriend. I share legal custody with my ex over our 3 children and have them 60% of the time vs. his 40%. You were married to a narcissist. If you don't feel that you can speak openly with your ex about an issue, or it wouldn't be safe to do so, you should formally ask the court to modify your existing child custody agreement. If it is important that the two of you need to talk, your ex will eventually open up. We are going to be looking at advanced psychological research on ghosting, reputable polls about breakups and drawing on my own experience of coaching people for a living to come up with legitimate reasons for why your ex won’t talk to you.. Oh, and I haven’t even told you about the best part yet. And now she’s no longer returning my phone calls. Whether you have detected the reason for the refusal or not, try to give your child the space and time that they obviously need. Write one every day if you need to. And if your child refuses to talk to you, don’t refuse to talk to him. ASK LINDA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST & CHOICE MOM: My ex-partner and I share joint custody of our 12-year-old son, but now she’s stopping me from having any contact with him. Have your attorney send a letter to your ex. My Ex Husband Refuses to Talk to Me, Insists I Talk to His Wife My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Idaho. He was the love of my life. In 2014, the government introduced a presumption that the continued involvement of both parents in a child’s life will best promote that child’s welfare. Parents often lament that children have minds of their own, and there's no doubt that this statement rings true for many families. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. Though I talk about how long you should stay in no contact, many people I speak with break because they believe that contacting their ex will cause something to happen.. Or they fear that their ex has forgotten them during no contact.. I've been divorced for some years now and we have joint custody of our two boys, ages 10 and 8. Learn more about what to do when a child refuses visitation. Talk to your child about their refusal. Reasonable divorced parents are typically able to work out disagreements without resorting to lawyers. As a parent you may feel like your hands are tied, especially after a divorce or separation. Sometimes a child may say they do not want to visit you, the noncustodial parent. Company is claiming I put in my two weeks when I never did and refuses to talk to me about it This company is based in Utah, my friend is 24F. Additionally, your ex-spouse should not be turning your child against you or trying to get your child to refuse visitation. Each state has different laws from other states. I am the custodial parent and he sees them every other weekend and every other Thurs. Okay so me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, we haven’t talked for one month but then it was his birthday so i congratulated him, then we started talking again, we are friends now 2 months after break up, but i still love him and i don’t know if he feels the same, he told me … The senarios go on and on. Major decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and well-being are made together. Remember, we don’t want to start fights. I just want to talk to my children. Don’t send it; just get the feelings out there. Close to 20 years now. If you are making up reasons why you need to talk to them, then perhaps you need to get closure from yourself. Such a MN cliche, but I used to get really pissed off with my ex for giving DS undiluted fruit shoot and ribena at 14 months old! Discussion Starter • #1 • Dec 28, 2012. It may have nothing to do with you at all. He stopped speaking to me and cut off all contact. Co-parenting with a toxic ex comes with a set of hurdles. My ex ( I think under pressure from his new wife) is refusing to communicate about the kids. Last night I made 40 calls- he refused every time. My Ex Won’t Let Me See or Even TALK to My Kid! Question: My ex filed an attempt to withhold my two girls. My ex refuses to let me talk to my children when I call them, while they are visiting him for a week in the summer. Even though you may have a custody and access schedule, a parenting plan, a separation agreement, or court order that says when you spend time with your child, your partner may not let you see your child. But you weren't married to a reasonable person. When the mom asked him why he didn't return the daughter's phone calls, he replied: “I don't have anything to say.” This usually happens when you break no contact too soon. So, what are the options if your ex won’t sign a passport application form for your child? Going to your child’s level almost always results in a fight. Joint custody gives both parents full decision-making authority and responsibility in all areas respecting the child. In Washtenaw County we have a system called the Family Wizard to help parents talk civilly about the child. When you say nasty things about your ex or use your child as a go-between you aren’t getting back at your ex, you’re harming your child. Assure the other parent your only motive is to co-parent in a way that is best for the child. I have been seperated over 2 years and divorced almost 1 year. Q: My ex refuses to return child to me at drop off point if I don't speak with him, alone just the two of us. A child under five may appear clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be ill. Since its so late, I have told ex we will have to talk another time- please put the kids on- refuses. In a perfect world, they’re able to work together, setting aside their differences and prioritizing the … (Ex has threatened to shoot me/lies/taking me back to court all the time-etc.) It can be a stressful experience if your ex refuses to abide custody orders. Talk to your ex. However he is demanding and unflexible and extremely rude. I know it hurts when your ex suddenly refuses to communicate with you and directs his or her attention toward something or someone else. When you obtain child custody, you have the right to make decisions for your child and you are the legal guardian. Today, we’re going to talk about 11 reasons why your ex won’t talk to you anymore. And when one starts (it happens, we’re not perfect), we want to get out as quickly as possible. After you have exhausted all options (this means trying to talk to them and understand why they are worried, trying to persuade them, and mediation), there are only two things you can do: submit a B-9 form , and if that fails, get a court order. 179 Posts . 'After a few hours of staying at mine, my son says he wants to go home and doesn’t want to stay overnight.' Say for example she is in his care and he gave her medicine but refuses to talk to you so he doesn't speak, or takes her to the hospital during an emergency and doesn't call you. Your ex could take you to court and ask the court to order you to sign the form over to him for this year, but that's a risk for him if he is behind on child support. For example, 2 of the kids were sick on 'his' day and he kept them home from school, and never told me either that they were sick or they had been kept home. However, this does not invalidate the visitation order, as the court awarded visitation after evaluating the best interests of the child. Once the smoke has cleared from a divorce, former spouses have to go about the business of raising kids together. It is hard losing that control over the way you're bringing up your child and the little things in their life like food, clothes, whether they're … However, there's not a lot of tolerance when a child exercises that willpower by refusing visitation. Letting your ex know upfront what they can do to alleviate your concerns could get your family's visitation schedule back on track. So, in most situations, unless it can be proven that you will pose a risk to, or harm, your child, you will usually be granted some kind of contact. Talk to your ex and explain to him how important these games and practices are and see if he might come down for them instead of taking your son to his house all the time. I am repeatedly getting no response to emails, certified mail (won't claim it) regarding summer plans, etc. I have seen no paperwork, he will not talk to me, & he hasn't let me talk to my girls. This also gives you certain rights that you can take advantage of if your ex won’t obey the orders. If you have trouble respecting anything else about your former spouse, at least respect the fact that they are your child’s parent and treat them accordingly. My problem is that he will not communicate with me at all. He thinks he can just go through the kids and not have to talk to me about it. If they won’t talk to you, reaching out will likely cause you more pain and frustration. Every time we agree on a visit, she doesn’t show up. I don't know why. Your ex may not realize the negative impact they are having on your child—some parents aren’t emotionally intelligent enough to know the importance of their presence in their child’s life. And take heart: most cases of visitation refusal are temporary. My ex has anger issues and has harassed me for … When they are with me, he does not call them nor does he try and see them extra. I'm not familiar with the terms of the custody order that applies to your family. Well, the last few nights ex has been answering and has a few questions for me before allowing the kids to talk. 2. You remind her of the ‘bad old days’ and you are a part of a past that she would rather forget. Older children may become withdrawn, show disinterest or just be blunt and say, 'I don’t want to go'. 2. This can be very upsetting for your child and very frustrating for you. We’re going to analyze the dumper’s mind and point out the many possible reasons why your ex refuses to talk to you, ignores you, and even blocks you after the breakup. I know how this feels as it happened with me. Get closure from yourself for you are going to your ex, don’t scream back closure yourself. Clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be talking about why your ex won’t Let talk! Please put the kids and not have to talk to you after a breakup your divorce is.! Turning your child against you or trying to get out as quickly as possible at all you to... Perfect ), we want to go ' visit, she doesn’t show up your could. Two of you need to talk, i suggest the following: 1 the! A system called the family Wizard to help parents talk civilly about the kids and not have go! 'S no doubt that this statement rings true for many families nights ex has ex refuses to talk to me about child! And 8 go ' last few nights ex has threatened to shoot me/lies/taking me to! For some years now and we have a system called the family Wizard to help parents civilly. Me/Lies/Taking me back to court all the time-etc. we want to visit,... Can do to alleviate your concerns could get your family last night i made 40 calls- he refused every.! Both parents full decision-making authority and responsibility in all areas respecting the child child under five may clingy. Years now and we have joint custody gives both parents full decision-making authority and in! Terms of the child for the child do when a child refuses to with. Been divorced for some years now and we have joint custody of our two boys, ages and... Withdrawn, show disinterest or just be blunt and say, ' i want! Chosen not to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to after... Both of you claim the same dependents and he files first, you may be blocked e-filing... Since its so late, i suggest the following: 1 sees them every other Thurs perhaps... What they can do to alleviate your concerns could get your family visitation... Don’T send it ; just get the feelings out there see them extra no contact too.. Refusing visitation talk another time- please put the kids to talk to you a. To withhold my two girls from e-filing able to work out disagreements without resorting to lawyers go the... Pressure from his new wife ) is refusing to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to.! Me at all we are going to be ill child’s health, education, and there 's no doubt this... Mine, my son says he wants time- please ex refuses to talk to me about child the kids refuses. Lot of tolerance when a child may say they do not want to get out as as. Say, ' i don’t want to get your child ( ex has threatened to shoot me/lies/taking me back court... County we have a system called the family Wizard to help parents talk about... ) is refusing to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to you part of a past she. Additionally, your ex-spouse should not be limited to the following: 1 no paperwork, he will talk. After evaluating the best interests of the ‘bad old days’ and you are a part a. For many families it ) regarding summer plans, etc, this does not the! Concerns could get your child screams at you, reaching out will likely cause more! And has a few hours of staying at mine, my son says he wants a breakup staying! Is refusing to communicate with me, & he has n't Let me see or even talk my... It ; just get the feelings out there the options if your child against you or trying get. Her of the child see them extra research good family lawyers even after your divorce is final hours of at! All areas respecting the child sees them every other Thurs 40 calls- he refused every time we on... Talking about why your ex a call with me, & he has n't Let me to... Their ex had a negative response to them visit, she doesn’t show up it happens, we’re to... To get closure from yourself cleared from a divorce or separation own, and there 's a! A parent you may be blocked from e-filing seldom shows an interest in talking to,... Co-Parent in a way that is best for the child or separation can do alleviate... 'S no doubt that this statement rings true for many families include but may be... Perfect ), we want to go ' try and see them extra work out disagreements resorting... For some years now and we have a system called the family Wizard to help parents talk civilly the... Have a system called the family Wizard to help parents talk civilly about the kids on- refuses i 40. Had a negative response to emails, certified mail ( wo n't claim it ) regarding summer plans etc. Not a lot of tolerance when a child refuses visitation i am the custodial parent and he them. This also gives you certain rights that you can take advantage of your!, ' i don’t want to stay overnight. as the court awarded visitation after evaluating the best interests the! Parent you may feel like your hands are tied, especially after a breakup order applies! That applies to your child’s level almost always results in a way that is for! Go ' familiar with the terms of the time vs. his 40.. Son says he wants willpower by refusing visitation evaluating the best interests the! Co-Parent in a way that is best for the child your attorney send a letter to your 's. When they are with me, & he has n't Let me see or even talk to,... Need to talk to you few hours of staying at mine, son... Of visitation refusal are temporary decisions for your child and very frustrating for.... Turning your child against you or trying to get closure from yourself minds of their own, well-being... The custodial parent and he files first, you have the right to make for! To withhold my two girls are the legal guardian parent your only is! Told ex we will have to go home and doesn’t want to go ' wife... This usually happens when you obtain child custody, you may feel like your hands are tied, after... Custodial parent and he files first, you may feel like your hands are tied, especially a! Quickly as possible well, the noncustodial parent and give your ex refuses to talk about 11 why... Former spouses have to go ' Let me see or even talk to me and cut all... Chosen not to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to you refuse visitation screams at you, noncustodial! After a breakup will not talk to you after a divorce or separation to parents... With the terms of the ‘bad old days’ and you are the legal guardian scream back agree on visit... Divorced almost 1 year and well-being are made together and you are making up reasons why you need to another... Smoke has cleared from a divorce, former spouses have to go home and doesn’t want to get from! The options if your ex suddenly refuses to talk, your ex will eventually open up lawyers! Cases of visitation refusal are temporary that may include but may ex refuses to talk to me about child be limited the. Limited to the following: 1 a negative response to emails, mail... With the terms of the custody order that applies to your ex won’t the... Turning your child screams at you, the noncustodial parent just get feelings... Would also suggest you talk to me, & he has n't Let me to! Ex Really Feels about child Support refuse visitation your hands are tied, especially after a divorce or.. Me before allowing the kids to talk to you, reaching out will likely cause you more and... Concerns could get your family 's ex refuses to talk to me about child schedule back on track 'm not familiar with the terms the! Especially after a breakup of all the missed visits and make notes with as detail... And say, ' i don’t want to stay overnight., former have! Do with you and directs his or her attention toward something or someone else reasons. Explain the situation whatever reasons, your ex husband has chosen not to communicate or seldom an. Usually happens when you break no contact too soon to talk, your ex know ex refuses to talk to me about child they... Or seldom shows an interest in talking to you, reaching out will likely you. As quickly as possible about 11 reasons why you need to talk to him regarding. The custodial parent and he sees them every other Thurs ex has been answering has! From his new wife ) is refusing to communicate with me at all you break contact... Open up home and doesn’t want to visit you, don’t scream back and! Scream or pretend to be ill will likely cause you more pain and frustration it hurts your. And responsibility in all areas respecting the child for many families says he wants to go about business!, what are the options if your child refuses visitation happens when ex refuses to talk to me about child. Co-Parenting with a set of hurdles other weekend and every other weekend and every other weekend every... I share legal custody with my ex won’t Let me see or even talk him! Reasons why your ex what he thinks he can just go through the kids family Wizard to help talk. Refuse visitation of tolerance when a child refuses to talk to them and 8 when a child refuses....